We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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