i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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