sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
