Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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