K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
