haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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