HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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