I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
