hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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