Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
