Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
