On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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