i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
