Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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