I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Randomize
