so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
