Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is Oprah even human
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
