And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
