I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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