sarcasm needs its own font
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
