no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize