i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
there is glitter all over my balls
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
