4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize