For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Never joke about your clitoris.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
