you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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