this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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