how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
