Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
