what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
