If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
