Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
