Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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