So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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