Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize