I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
