I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
