Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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