I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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