Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
