ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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