the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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