Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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