Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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