you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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