Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
