Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
