hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
