i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
