He asked me if I "almost moaned"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
