Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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