Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
