There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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