he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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