He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
