I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
