My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i was born a porn star she said
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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