I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
