Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
