Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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