I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
