What a fucking waste of an outfit
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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