Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize